How the day starts

Morning is here, so time to function.
I get up and go to work and as usual the day spins by me.
I sit quietly at my desk looking deep in contemplation
Dissecting weighty thoughts of you, until they are broken down into dust.
I have little wiggle-room to indulge in much else.

Builder’s Lament

We became confidants with hugs evolving to pressed-lips.
From our kisses bloomed robust ardor
I became cognizant of your beauty
And even though you still went home to him
I was willing to brave the cost or wear your cross
The seasons changed but my dedication did not
I wanted to build our foundation so we could settle our roots
So I became your architect and you were my blueprint;
The proof I knew how to remodel.
I built a bridge but you feared crossing it,
Positive it would carry you only to more crossroads,
When really the path led to me.

A note about a bourgeois man I know

You called at 3 am
There was only one thing on your mind
And it wasn’t how I’ve been doing.
I fell asleep early last night; I must have missed your call
The robot on my voicemail said you would be in town this weekend
But proximity doesn’t matter; you are always a million miles away
The next morning you wanted to know if I got your message
For a moment I thought about ignoring you,
I decided to respond with exuberance
‘Can’t wait to see you’
I feel like a sucker sometimes, the way you left me.
I saw you at a bar but you were too self involved to formulate conversation
You called again at 3 am
I knew there was only one thing on your mind
And it wasn’t how I’ve been doing.

Often a LOVE fool

I Met him
on a Monday.
we made love
well through Thursday.
Felt like a fool
by Sunday.

Now the patience thing
Playing the waiting game
It's been too long
I think he
must be dead

Shoulda placed a call to me…
by now.
I sent a text: no answer.
stated in writing: I dig you.
Left a clever message
(Don't think he understood)

So whats up?

re: Everything is Everything

I made an emotional decision
Sacrificed a saintly man
Let you leave as a martyr
I should have tried harder
I let go of my greatest friend

You've learned what makes you happy
While I'm still searching time and time again
It was never resentment,
I kept u alive in my writings
I figured 'how else am I to see him again?'

But then Saturday night there you were,
the love I knew by heart.
With your arms wide open,
before any words had been spoken.Can you forgive me for tearing us apart?

Distractions of mind through doubt
(for those appreciated things).

This is to a man
with big dreams,
chocolate skin and kinky hair.
To you for causing
life to change that summer
we had all the afternoon rain.
For all those 'How are you doing?' messages
when 'heys,' were all I was used to.
Its just a thank you,
for the kiss at lookout mountain.
A poem of appreciation
for holding my hand
the whole movie.
Breaking my heart,
then keeping it
all these past months.
For promising to mend it,
by building a foundation.
You tell me I am beautiful,
I am anchored to your touch
(I am not used to hearing that).
Walking in the park with me,
understanding my stories about the trees.
To a copper-hued presence who laughs at my jokes...
both good and bad.
Who feels/fills my enamor
but knows not what it means.
A Kudos for the night we lay intertwined and anxious,
searching for each other’s meanings
while gelid drips of mutual sweat
became our scent.
This is for you,
who rides me like a motorcycle
Revs me up
causing me to accelerate
in quantity & activity,
then calms me down
hindering me exhausted.
For bright eyes
in dark night-light.