scared to say it...

I am writing to you from a worn out mattress
in a makeshift bedroom where my dog sleeps
on an old couch cushion next to my bottle of rum.
It seems like a good idea to tell you
To tell you I want to devote myself to you,
take you up as my cause
to wear you proudly as my flag.
and it may be the rum or the late night hour, but
I would be willing to sacrifice my job,
my fancy car and all my french cologne
to be able to glance over and observe your birthmark
rise and fall as I watch you next to me.
And it may sound like a desperate plea
a cry for your affection, but really its the truth.
But for now its just me and my computer,
composing sweet nothings that you may never see.
Just a poem about a man a great man.
An I cant sleep at night...poem
because you don't know how I see you
and it isn't a demand for intimacy or a call for reason
no...
It is the birthright of my poetry:
that all these words over the years,
have been an intricate spell
cast to bring you near to me.
I hold you let you melt into my chest
until you become one with my blood and you understand
why I call you heartbeat.