Haiku for D.A. Levy ( Wish I could have known you)

Ashes, just ashes
Remain I am hallowed out
Husk dry by winter

27 years,
And I am ready to leave
But where will I go?

I cant fight the tears
That do not come, no relief
If I die, what next?

I wrench and ache and
Most times getting through the day
Is my only goal

Or finding the strength
To not cut myself this time
When the razor sings

Or when wine flirts
With me: “have another drink”
“Sip a little peace”

And I can resist
Most days; the songs dead
Children sing to me.

Their ashen voices
Calling me to them softly
I want to listen

To the popping of
Burning coal and breaking leaves
It is my heartbeat

But first, rent is due
And the back taxes to pay
Which I never paid

Because I didn’t
Think I would have lived this long
Again, I was wrong

Another topic
To write about. No eyes though
To read about it

& I wonder if
When all is said and done
Will my art live on

& I wonder if
When all is said and done
Will I be at peace

Or will I become
Just another song for the
Dead children to sing