Thoughts on a 94 degree afternoon

He is like the floater
In the corner of my eye


Sitting on my couch after work
I let the A/C chill me
while my blunt burned
Calming down & cooling off
as my high kicked in-
replacing anxious with lonely
I checked your status,
Hoping to catch you
before you signed off
But you weren’t there
Instead I studied your pictures
over the internet
&it isn’t lying to say
I wish I were in them.
& it isn’t telling you the truth to say
I’m happiest as friends
But it’s fair of me to say
if given the chance.

Thursday evening so
I had fresh fruit
from the farmers market
I walk through on lunch breaks
lemon cucumbers cool-at 94 degrees
We shot the breeze
partly about current events
but mostly about men
&U found it easy
to tell the perfect friend
how he is a reminder
of some perfect man-
but again were ‘just friends…’
&Im only a ‘just’-
a world of ‘just’
the most desperate way
to begin a sentence
is to 'Just'
until I’m ‘too much…’
listening to your wants,
willing to tailor my needs
&I almost blurted I love you ,
But by then you were already
In the middle of telling me
about your date.
I didn’t want to seem rude,
So I mumbled and trailed off
&blamed my banter on the weed.
&spoke only with jubilance
to mask my misgivings.
Then I lost track
of what you were saying
cause you’re always
just out of reach

The floater,
In the corner of my eye,