9:46

It is the moment I cling to
in an act of desperation
to take him any way,
that he is willing to give himself
it is the stomach cramps
that his absence will bring
it is the void I will fall into

It is grasping at straws
a resolve to bargain
if it means I wont be alone
It is the look in my eyes
as I pass the mirror
it is the revelation of self doubt

It is the analysis of my worth
the sliding scales of love
and attraction.
It is the wasted flowers,
the unanswered questions
the yearning to be loved
if just for a moment

It is the paralysis of rejection
the poison dart
that marries my vein
it is me,
it is me,
once again,
it is just me.