Untitled.

I better fall in love this winter
Like I tried to last spring
With another poet,
Who might understand
The days I can’t climb out of bed
Afraid of the teeth lining the doorways.
Or the phone calls that are always trouble.
Or maybe it’s the fangs, hiding on the toilet seat
Causing venom to run down my legs.

& I promise I was learning
To love all of him last spring-
The late night noises
Of stirring in his sleep
And moving closer toward me
Patting the blankets to make sure
I am still there
Rubbing my back,
Because it needed to be done.
Yes, I knew he watched me sleep.
I will be there in winter
But will he?
Nestled closer to me
Than the butcher knife I hide
In between the mattress & box spring
Which is only for ‘just in case’
& maybe to protect my heart
from the shadows crawling up my blankets.
Who will lie beside me,
To curb the drinking,
Discourage the thinking
That I deserve to be alone?

&if I don’t fall in love this winter,
& bare no bloom this spring
I will fade just like his love of me
& it won’t matter by summer
If my branches are still bare