Say your prayers.

‘I’ve been praying for you’
As if it would absolve everything
And provide some clarity.
He must be different now:
must be better
bigger, less unsteady.

 so I should take note
I’ve been prayed for.

and now the sun shines in my favor
and the adversity I call breathing,
is no longer labored.
So now I can stop biting my nails,
&can stop drinking in secret.
Because his prayer has changed things.

When I was a child,
I prayed for the damned-
And surely it made them better
Because autonomy is a gift,
that the righteous man bears.
The way to the light is through the righteous.
The meek shall inherit the earth.

I’ve been praying for you
Translates to:
I cannot come to terms
With what has happened.
And cannot admit I still love you.
So I will blame the divine
& use it as an excuse to never get over you.