Feeling a certain kinda way

I  see where this is going...
He calls me butterscotch and I melt,
I'm syrup running through the cracks in between his fingers.
And I don't have a name for him.
nothing seems to fit-
all titles fail the way he makes me feel
He keeps books about Crystals and third eye spirituality on his nightstand
and its all a little too at peace for me.
Meditative love that I can only imagine
that might overwhelm me should I imagine.
He ends his sentences with baby and I get dizzy...
He says my name slowly, once, twice, three times.
my knees buckle-
The brother is smooth.
and I wonder if he's a little too smooth.
I fret over how alive he makes me feel
I'm concerned over the way my face flushes
when he licks his lips.
I'm preoccupied with how well
our bodies fit together while sleeping.
I roll my tongue against the roof of my mouth when I write about him.
I bite the skin on my knuckles when I remember his voice.
It's all too much.
And its never enough,
I'm beginning to crave it.
I recall how he tastes, I've memorized how he smells
Now I want to learn how he feels...
I mean, this shit is bad.

Some

Some nights are nervous,
like waiting on test results
or wondering if he will call.
Doubting that you can handle yourself
for five minutes while alone.
Some nights are the teeth
that smile crookedly through the window
and make your bed into a refuge.
Some nights are the tears
that do not come.
The wanting of him near
the dull ache in the neck,
his touch would heal.
Some nights are two hands clasped;
legs restless, breathing deeply from the chest
Beer bottles on nightstand-
crickets singing a hallelujah chorus.
Some nights are a whirling fan,
that keep spinning but take you nowhere.
Some nights last forever,
blanketed in deep purple.
As you wait for the sound
of his voice to usher in the dawn.

And on The First Day

And I kissed you first

because I could not risk

the angels carrying me away

as I knew this was heaven

when our eyes did meet

and you stood before me

dynamic as a kaleidoscope-

beautiful and ever changing,

I could not quite capture it all

like the reflection of sunlight

on a virgin lagoon-you left me in awe.

And I wanted to capture this image of you,

a thousand images of you.

Because anything less,

would be unjust in recalling your smile

As I have seen it,

when you pull your lips from mine

and find me grinning in admiration

because I cannot believe I am this close to you.

And when you lay across my chest

and slumber so soundly,

I know in this moment

I have found my contentment

as I trail my fingers

across the small of your back

while I embrace you tighter 

than the tattoos that hug your shoulders

And there are so many movements

beating inside my chest

like a thousand tiny fists 

knocking on your door

curious to know if you will answer...